I hate the way I feel, I love him with all my heart but I can't seem to shake this feeling things won't work out between us. I hate this, I need to just move on and forget my feelings for him and find someone new but I can't. I've kept everything to myself for 2 years and then one day I just told him, it was something I never meant to tell him but I did.
I go back to teaching classes on the 6th. It's going to be weird no with Jeremy but I know enough people there who are wonderful people and are great babysitters who can watch him while I am teaching. I just hope I will be able to let him out of my sight....I mean I missed the first 5 years of his life and now with work its going to be hard.